The Friends You Keep

Being the strong one can be quietly isolating.

You’re the listener.

The fixer.

The “it’s okay, I’ve got this” friend.

But what about the moments when you are tired of being strong?

When you need support instead of being the support.

When you need someone to listen instead of nodding while holding everyone else together.

Sometimes people forget that the strong one is still human.

Still soft.

Still allowed to have limits.

Boundaries start to feel like disappointments to others.

Grace you give freely isn’t always returned.

And suddenly, you’re being asked to show up as a version of yourself you don’t even have access to right now—because you need that version for you.

And this is where the friends you keep begin to reveal themselves.

There are the ones who love you for who you are, not what you provide. They embrace the flaws, the passion, the chaos, the big feelings, the quiet days. They don’t ask you to perform—they let you be.

Then there are the fair-weather friends. Here for the highlights. Missing when things get heavy. Present when they need support… mysteriously unavailable when you do.

And then there are the conditional friends—the most dangerous of all. The ones who drain you dry, demand access to your energy, and when you finally choose yourself? They rewrite the story and turn you into the villain for no longer playing the role they assigned you.

Whew. 🫠If that hit a nerve… same.

From Being the Strong One to Being Real With Yourself

At some point, being the strong one stops feeling empowering and starts feeling heavy.

Strong doesn’t mean unaffected.

Strong doesn’t mean endless capacity.

And strong certainly doesn’t mean you’re immune to needing care.

Many of us grow into roles without realizing it—the good friend, the reliable one, the strong Black woman, the go-to person. These roles can be beautiful, but they can also quietly teach us to override our own needs. To show up even when our body is begging us to sit down. To listen while our chest is tight. To keep going while our nervous system is waving every red flag it has.

And here’s the part we don’t say out loud enough:

Emotional trauma doesn’t always stay emotional.

It shows up in the body. In exhaustion. In migraines. In tight shoulders, shallow breathing, gut issues, disrupted sleep. Your body will always find a way to ask you to listen—especially when you’ve been lending yourself to everyone else.

Being real with yourself means noticing when your body is screaming for rest while your mouth is still saying “I’m fine.”

It also means learning to release the guilt that comes with choosing yourself.

Saying, “I want to be here for you—but right now, I need to be here for me too,” isn’t abandonment.

It’s honesty.

And sometimes, that honesty looks like boundaries.

It looks like limited access.

It looks like delayed responses, softer availability, and choosing rest without explanation.

Because life happens to the strong ones too.

Four Gentle Reminders as You Shift from Strong to Real

1. Being a good friend does not mean being endlessly available. Support is not measured by self-sacrifice. You’re allowed to care without depletion.

2. You are more than the role you play. Especially if you’ve been labeled “strong” your whole life. Strength should not cost you your softness.

3. Your body is part of the conversation. When it’s tired, tense, or unwell, that’s not weakness—it’s communication.

4. Boundaries are not punishments; they’re protection. Limited access doesn’t mean limited love. It means you’re honoring your capacity in this season.

   
   

At The Wellness Studio, this is the kind of reflection we make space for—not through fixing or forcing, but through creative exploration. Through slowing down. Through making things with our hands while unpacking what we’ve been carrying.

Being real with yourself is a practice.

And you don’t have to practice it alone.

In 2026 at The Wellness Studio, we’re hoping to open up real conversations like this. About emotions. Boundaries. Burnout. Friendships. Healthy lifestyles—and healthy distance when needed in our new Socials Series.

But we’re doing it our way.

Through creative exploration.

Through hands-on making.

Through laughter, reflection, and a little “oh wow, I needed that” energy.

No fixing. No performing. No pretending to have it all together.

Just space to be human.

If that sounds like your kind of healing…—or your kind of fun—we’ll save you a seat at the table.

Because the friends you keep should include yourself too. #LetsBeFriends #SelfCompassion

With grace for wherever you are today,

Your Wellness Truths,

Madonna